On New Year's Eve I managed to watch Jools Holland and the fireworks on TV and then was fast asleep by 12.05.
Fast times and endless excitement in the Allardyce household. Not being able to drink or be particularly mobile takes the jam right out of my party-animal doughnut.
Back in the day those who know me well can testify that my theory for the sucess of any type of party was to throw in a bottle of Sambuca to be consumed with total commitment by everyone in the room, no matter what the time or situation.
This made me pretty unpopular with those wanting to go home and popular with those raging against the dying light. Those days are long gone. However, I really do miss drinking and dancing.
I went for a MRI scan in December and I can honestly say it was the most painful 90 minutes of my life, even though I had dosed up on morphine and every other painkiller I could find. I cannot lay down flat at the best of times, let alone on a hard plinth, unable to move a muscle.
Again choosing the music option proved to be another fatal error. I chose a 'rock radio station' rather optimistically, whilst my decent CD selection was somehow left in the car. A mixture of big-hair spandex 80's aural tripe followed. Once the scan was finishing, a Pearl Jam song I love came on just to remind me what could have been.... Oh the indignity.
Luckily, I was in so much pain none of it really mattered too much.
So a week later when we went to meet the oncologist to discuss the results, I was expecting the worst. I have been feeling terrible and my pain has skyrocketed and I have increased my OxyContin doses and now on top of it al,l I also take Abstral, which is a type of Fentanyl.
Quick quiz.
Which famous musician has died from taking too much Fentanyl?
a. Tom Petty
b. Michael Jackson
c. Symbol/TAFKAP/Prince or Prince Rogers Nelson as his mom knew him
d. All of the above
The answer is D as Fentanyl is much much stronger than most ordinary opoids, but more importantly for me, it really works. It also seems to kill people rather easily if they misuse it.
So back to the matter at hand. The oncologist said that the scans showed some stability and told us I need to continue the Etoposide Chemo for now. I am now on Round Five of chemo and getting progressively more lethargic and listless.
So while the scans look better, I am feeling no better. People - yes, I mean YOU readers - have a tendency to over-react to any good news as a sign I'm somehow recovering or that your prayers have been answered.
This isn't the reality, and as I said, I generally feel worse, but I am taking each day as it comes. My pain has to be managed carefully, otherwise I spend all day writhing in agony and nervously sweating like Oscar Pistorious faced with an obstacle course of Cattle-Grates with only his blades on.
Jay has the uneviable task of trying to get me to take painkillers regularly, but for some unknown reason I have always been resistant to taking them. But I am now admitting defeat on that count and now take the drugs as soon as I need them.
In unrelated news we have been trying to remain busy and keep our minds off things, and went off to the British Motor Museum and found loads of interesting cars to look at, including a few that had made it through my home town Bulawayo en route from Cairo to Cape Town, as well as a few vehicles from the movies.
In other unrelated news, my giant bottle of Pino Silvestre shower gel is finally finished after nearly 500 days.
Farewell sweet prince, and do not go gentle into that good night. That is my poetic mash up for the world's hardiest showel gel.
However as much as I loved Pino, I prefer regular soap and not some heavily pine-fragranced nuclear-waste lumo green alternative that is shaped and sized like an artillery shell.
But it was fun while it lasted. This should be a salutory warning to all to make sure you check the size of something on Amazon before clicking 'buy' otherwise you too could end up with 1500ml of shower gel. I hope you all appreciate this life lesson.
Love to you all.
