This is a long blog that was hard to write for various reasons, so please bear with me. One reason is that the draft didn't save which was a gear grinder of note as I lost the whole thing.
I hope your festive season was full of family, laughter and innapropriate presents. On that note, thanks must go to Gaylynn for my gift of a giant glistening turd the size of a infant's arm. Even though it is made from foam, it is disconcertingly life like. We spent most of the festive period hiding it in daft places, throwing it at each other and generally acting like children. All I could think of was G paying for it in Spain, patiently waiting in a queue as it moved along the shopping conveyer, with the embarassed sales assistant having to scan it, wrap it and bag it.
Aaah, the joy of turd-based humour.
Den, Pegs and Gaylynn spent Christmas with us, and we had the usual ham/lamb double header - I really tried hard to avoid a food coma. It made the day more enjoyable not having that 'I'm going to explode' feeling. We had a fun, relaxing day and exchanged lovely gifts, and I even had a wee drop of Baileys to celebrate. In the true spirit of the festive season we even got Cards Against Humanity out, playing that, as well as Articulate and Who Am I?
Ross, Amanda, Ryan and Lorna came round pre-christmas for a Crimbo Chicken Kebab from our local Turkish take-away, a place gloriously untouched by the hipster revolution currently sweeping the fast-food establishments of London. There are no 'pulled' products to be seen, you know pulled chicken and pork etc, no Oaxaca Smoked Chipotle marinades to confuse you, no finger-limes, no 'up-cycled' decor, just good old Mediterranean grilled chicken, pictures of Kemal Attaturk, plastic flowers, all served with a great salad and enough chips to stop us all in our tracks.
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| Yes, Ross is dressed as an elf. |
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| All of us trying to be serious |
Ryan's partner Lorna is a trained baker at a high-end bakery in Primrose Hill and she made us 4 varieties of bite-size treats of her own creation. I'm a savoury guy over sweet 9 times out of 10, but Lorna is super talented and her inventions are incredible. Ironically, cousin Ryan doesn't even like sweet things, so her talent is wasted on him. It is probably a good thing as he'd be the size of a house if he ate everything she makes. She has made us cupcakes for our birthdays back in August, and they were truly something to behold. I still find that baking is like alchemy to me, so I am always impressed when people whip up cakes and baked goods. Her peach melba cupcake with rasberry coulis centre is a thing of beauty. I appear to be writing a food blog. Apologies.
My cousin Ross and his partner Amanda had their first child on the 4th January. Little Jonty Bruce was welcomed into the world to an immensely proud family, with grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins waiting to meet him. We are so happy for them and wish them all of the best as parents. I am so honoured he has my name. What a lucky little sausage. Unlike most newborns, he doesn't look like a fat, red, grizzled Russian polictian, complete with corruption rolls on the back of his neck like most babies (and politicians). He is so cute and tiny. Ross's mom, Claire, was so excited to become a grandmother for the first time and was planning a trip over to the UK to meet her grandson.
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| Jay, George, Amanda, Jonty & Bruce the Magnificent |
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| Jay, Jonty & Ross |
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| Jay, Jonty & Me |
They are totally devastated, as are the rest of us.
Claire was such as wonderful person, who was so creative and so fun and loving. She was always so generous with Jay and myself, and really looked after us when we moved to the UK. We spent many weekends with Claire and the kids, making use of her giant red couches, getting fed the best food imagineable and getting spoiled rotten. She moved to South Africa and set up the first proper gourmet olive company in the country, winning numerous awards at food shows and introducing the previously ignorant South African public to her olives, tapenades and sauces. She also met a wonderful guy, Leibrandt, who is now part of our family. I cannot comprehend how strong he must be to have to deal with this.
The poor guy will be so embarassed that I am listing all of his super-powers, but he really is an amazing guy who seems to have an untold amount of skills, such as making blackpowder rifles and ammunition, forging and making beautiful engraved knives, he has butchery skills, can hunt, fish and can fix anything with an engine, speaks fluent Zulu, rides horses - the list is endless, but most importantly he is a great person and quickly passed the Granny test when she was alive. And she was a tough nut to crack. When I was growing up she took a dim view of my choice of girlfriends until she met Jay.
One of the happiest days of my life was telling Claire and her sister Siobhan that I was going to ask Jay to marry me. The pair of them are like big sisters to me and it took them 2 days to calm down and stop hugging me.
We had always talked about going to Italy to have a culinary tour. So Claire said let's just stop talking and go. Claire, myself and an old house mate took a two week trip around Italy back in 2001, flying into Nice and renting a car and driving down to Naples and Pompei, stopping off on the way at a wonderful place on the coast called Baia Domizia. We had loads of good food and wine, numerous car breakdowns, went midnight skinny dipping in the ocean, went to a few dodgy nightclubs and had a lot of fun. Claire and Dean decided I would be the designated Italian speaker, resulting in me rather sheepishly returning from the supermarket with 40 slices of Mortadella and Salami rather than four slices, much to their amusement. It seems my grasp of Italian numbers and quantities was a bit off.
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| Me, Siobhan, Claire and Granny Jon |
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| Claire & Ross at our wedding |
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| Claire & Leibrandt |
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| Three slighlty sozzled Allardyce's after telling them I was planning to get married |
My family held a memorial a few weeks ago in South Africa. Not being able to go was upsetting, but I can't make it out of town, let alone to South Africa. Thank you for your kind messages.
I had an MRI scan just before Christmas, and was really nervous about the results, as it was one of the most painful ordeals I have ever experienced. It lasted over an hour and I was sweating and shaking in pain by the time it finished which is sign all is not well. I was expecting the worst, but the follow-up was re-scheduled for a week later than the original appointment, so I thought that maybe the news wouldn't be bad.
We have learnt from the past that when you go in for your follow-up consultation, the gravity of the news depends on who walks through the door. A registrar or other underling walking through the door means that Jay and I look at each other, smile, and basically stop listening because I have a stay of execution. So, very rarely good news, but not bad news.
On Monday January 7th the head oncologist walked through the door so we both looked at each other and braced ourselves. The disease has now spread to a new area at T3, so further up my spine. This is obviously terrible news for us and worringly, the first time the little f***** has grown in a new area.
My only option was to go for 6 weeks of radiotherapy and try and zap the little b***** before it takes me out. I spent a few weeks getting all the preliminary scans sorted out, had one more MRI and then it was to be 6 weeks of Radiotherapy. It would be tough, but at least it would be treatment.
So I was slightly surprised when last week I got a call and we were told that Radiotherapy is now off the table. It seems that they treated me with radiotherapy quite high up my spine back in 2011, meaning the the new treatment area would have signigifcant overlap with the old treatment. This means that it is simply way too risky to treat now. They could end up severing the cord, or damage the major spinal artery, meaning potentially damaging my spine further up and resulting in the loss of the use of my arms, which for me is the end. So while this means I avoid 6 weeks of radiotherapy, it also means I have no treatment.
I'm not sure how I am meant to feel about this. The way I see it is that they are waiting for the new area of tumour to start causing problems, then they can give me targeted Radio. So I have another MRI soon and we will take it from there. My Oncologist has referred me to a doctor who is treating tumours and symptoms with Cannabidiols, so we will see if that can help in any way.
So it has been a difficult few weeks for us, and again the future is plagued with uncertainty. Meanwhile, the shingles rumbles on and I am suffering from Postherpetic Nueralgia - which is extreme pain after the shingles has healed and isn't really treatable. All of the Opoids I am on for my daily spinal pain are ineffective for shingles. I am on every type of medication they think works, ranging from Gabapentin to Tri-Cyclic Antidepressants. If you throw enough mud at something then some of it is bound to stick.
Thanks as always for your love and support and I'll keep you all posted. My mailing lists aren't working again so I hope you guys get this blog one way or another. If you get a chance, watch Vice - Christian Bale may as crazy as a box of frogs, but the man certainly can act.
